Edie VARJAK

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6 Responses to Edie VARJAK

  1. oztas says:

    I love how it felt like you where in his shoes. The adjectives you used are amazing. Probably, you could add in less fronted adverbials.

  2. fitzs says:

    I loved that story! The part I loved the most was when you didn’t say ‘the’ all the time. Personally,I think you should do a bit more writing.

  3. windl says:

    This was really enjoyable Edie,I loved the way you used your adjectives. Also, you use a handful of fronted adverbials. But bye the way you were spelling for was SO close but you spell fire like fire. But really good 🙂

  4. wadel says:

    Edie I love your thrilling story about Varjack Paw it is soo good!!! I especially liked the simile that said ”When he looked up he saw the glittering stars like golden fire balls dancing in the midnight sky”! I just wanted to point out some spelling mistakes like, fire and bristling.

  5. mazul says:

    This is an outstanding piece of work, Edie! I really like when you typed the stars were like golden fire balls. You just spelt fire wrong!

  6. epeck says:

    I loved it 🙂
    you had a nice youse adjectives

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